Let me paint you a picture. It’s 2023, and I’ve been living the dream—or so it seems on paper. Traveled abroad 8 times (I should get frequent flyer miles for life), facilitated 11 psilocybin journeys and retreats (with 2 more coming next month), got married (woop!), published 2 books, mentored 40 rising authors, and let’s not forget, parented a teenage daughter who’s bravely entering her senior year. Just your average, everyday superhero stuff, right?
A ‘WTAF’ Moment 🤯
I cancelled some prestigious teaching gigs and took a step back to reevaluate my mission last week. Why? Because I entered what spiritual sages and your local barista would call a “Dark Night of the Ego.” This is the emotional maelstrom where everything you once knew suddenly feels…wrong. And yet, the new you isn’t quite ready to walk through the door either. You’re in a chrysalis of your own making—half caterpillar, half butterfly, full-on confused.
Caterpillar, Meet Chrysalis 🐛
San Juan de la Cruz’s “Noche Oscura” or Dark Night, presents this stage beautifully.
The tropical Morpho butterfly coming out of chrysalis
FYI — I refer to this process as the ‘Dark Night of the Ego, and Dawn of the Soul‘ because it actually more closely aligns to the original poem that spawned the term ‘Dark Night’.
Read more about my analysis of San Juan de la Cruz’s original poem, ‘Noche Oscura‘, here.
Much like a caterpillar dissolves into a gooey mess inside its chrysalis only to emerge as a beautiful butterfly, we too go through stages:
- Dissolution: The caterpillar turns into a pile of “imaginal cells” in its chrysalis. Similarly, our old sense of self crumbles into oblivion, making us question our identity, beliefs, and even our sense of right and wrong.
- Inner Alchemy: In the chrysalis, those cells reorganize, taking shape as a butterfly. During our dark night, we too go through an internal restructuring, guided by our soul’s wisdom to a better, more authentic sense of self.
- Emergence: Finally, the butterfly breaks free from its chrysalis, a new creature entirely. This emergence marks the end of our dark night, a new beginning in our own true essence and purpose.
Coming Attractions 🎥
In the coming weeks, I’ll delve deeper into this topic in a Dark Night to Dawn Series on my blog and YouTube channel. Because let’s face it, whether you’re navigating menopause or your first heartbreak, we all go through transformative phases. These may be expected life transitions or might feel like they come out of nowhere (looking at you, 2023).
Through my blend of psychology, spirituality, and a dash of humor, I’ll guide you through your own dark night of the ego and into the dawn of your soul.
So, hit that subscribe button on YouTube, turn on those notifications, and buckle up, my friends! The road may be dark, but trust me, the dawn is worth the ride.
Stick around for the journey!
This blog aims to serve as the launchpad for what promises to be an enlightening series about the twists and turns of our eternal soul journey. See you in the next post!
